Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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