Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize