I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
