Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
