well you can't waste a boner
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
That's how pantless uber rides happen
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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