There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
