Jerry, you need to find god
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
