ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
