Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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