Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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