another moral hangover. fuck.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
why is half of my head shaved?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
