there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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