I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
