Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
