DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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