so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
