you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
