do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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