I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Are my feet made of real feet?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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