Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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