Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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