We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
