Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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