Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Randomize
