There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
