Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
