i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
