Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
