Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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