My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize