I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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