Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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