I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
