Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
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17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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