Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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