you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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