my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
