I'm going to jail i love you
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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