4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
