My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
