peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
