yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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