you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
