Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
