How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
