yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
