why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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