Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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