He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize