my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
