Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
