dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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