fuck your aforementioned shoe
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
