Don't you send me to vm
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
