I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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