the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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