I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
